I went on searching for a rebound. Whoever that girl is going to be, we are not going to last long. We’re just, teenagers and their games, you know? It’s going to be a phase, just any girl to tide me through and have a little fun for a while.
Oh my God, then she came along. I told her that she’s beautifully stunning. Of course I mean it, but I might be exaggerating…I don’t know. She thinks I’m sweet talking her and wouldn’t let me hold her hand. I held it, once, when we were ice skating. Her skin was as fair as Snow White and smooth as silk. Her porcelain pale face, glistened as she skated—I couldn’t skate so fast. But she was what she is.
That night on our first date, I brought her out drinking. She couldn’t even down one pint. One pint! I was literally laughing inside. But she’s so delicate…this kind of girl obviously hadn’t gone drinking or clubbing before. Those eyes, are so full of light and innocent, full of wander of a world that she hadn’t seen before. I told her I’m every parent’s nightmare. Jokingly of course. Just in case I didn’t warn her. She threw her head back laughing like a little kid, the melodious sound of laughter rang as we soaked in the warmth of the bar.
But it’s okay. I am patient. I can wait. I’ll wait until she’s completely in love with me. Till those big saucer eyes that I call beautiful were staring back at me. She said she’s been hurt before, and that she needs time to trust me again. I said I’ll earn her trust. Of course I didn’t mean it, that’s just too fucking troublesome. I just know all the right things to say at the right time with my glib tongue.
She asked me if I’m a virgin. I was like what? That’s a stupid question.
“No..I did it with my ex.”
A silence. I loved the shock on her face. She just froze there like a first grader in front of a sex education class.
“Are you disappointed in me?”
She was so serious, how could I tell her the truth that I’m a smoker? Hell no. It would just scare her away. Not that I’m sorry for smoking, I’ll never quit smoking for a girl. Fat hope. So I lied. I said no, cigarettes were expensive. The second time she confronted me again, I said no, I’m just a social smoker.
After the 2nd/3rd date, I confided in my friend that I didn’t like how she was expecting me to pay for everything. Who does she think she is? That her date is also her bank account? It hurts my wallet a lot. At the ice cream parlour I asked if we could go dutch. She agreed. On the third date, I treated her for a movie and ice skating, while she treated me dinner. Fair enough.
How to murder a person:
Kiss them once and never again.
And that’s exactly what I did.
I took her first kiss at a Thai club. I told her that she’s a terrible kisser under the name of honesty.
Not that I want to murder her inside, I never planned to; but I loved her glaze as she tried to hide how much I was hurting her. Ironically, my hormones were raging, and physical intimacy felt good at that point, so I couldn’t care less because I need to satisfy my desires right there, right now, you see. I’m sure everyone understands the sexual drive of a 20 year old horny teenage boy. I still find her quite attractive, I was driven by lust, not love.
Whatever. I don’t care if I hurt her. Don’t care at all. Because even though we were dating, I don’t feel committed to her at all. I liked another girl, so I cheated one day with the other girl. She stayed at my apartment and then we had sex.
Then I cruelly told her I wanted to end things. I never planned on telling her the truth. But that bitch found out eventually.