Stillhet; the Norwegian word for silence.
I messaged Aunty Lucy from my Myanmar trip committee, volunteering to bring some stuff and take care of some areas in preparation for the trip. From what I see she’s really a kind lady juggling everything but I felt like I was not contributing enough and I just want to help. Today, I had the opportunity to pause and think. What am I doing this for? To feel better about myself, or what? Why am I on missions? Who am I doing it for…?
What do you think are the challenges that you’ll face in the Myanmar trip?
Getting used to the unhygienic conditions, the weather. Me being hungry often. Seem minor but I’m still worried hahahha. Of course we will be under strict security etc etc but I think I still can tahan. I need to speak up more and communicate openly with the adults. It’s the only way I can get my ideas heard and I feel like in all projects I’ve participated in so far, I’ve always been a follower instead of a leader. I mean there’s nothing wrong being a follower but I feel very uncomfortable when I have a leader mindset; that my mind is generating thoughts and working in the way of a leader but it is not reflected in my behaviour/living out my mental personality. It’s not more of taking charge but more of contributing and being more active instead of merely being a follower. I signed up for this trip myself, I’m not going to let it go to waste by just going through the motion but rather, I want to project myself out there and just let loose.
What do you hope to learn or takeaway from the trip?
My love for children!! I’ve always wanted to love children more but I must say my love is not quite there yet. Always looked at how my friends interact with children and wonder how they do it so well. I can be quite awkward. HAHA. But when playing with the Myanmar children I just want to be as free spirited as them and not care about language, borders, or other restrictions but just to communicate with them happily and openly. I pray I’d have the courage and wisdom to do so. HAHA.
I also wish to heighten my compassion for humanity. Hopefully I can also take on a fresh-er perspective on life after experiencing village life.
What are you fearful and doubtful about?
Me dozing off in the hot weather and I tend to get bored and restless easily especially under tough conditions, because I’d focus on the needs of myself instead of concentrating on the needs of others. I don’t want that to happen. I want to maintain a steadfast attitude to serve in the trip from start to end because I don’t want to see myself as selfish anymore.
That’s all for now…I’d update as we go along..