外面正下着雨。

明天就要洗礼了,想来想去感觉好像梦一样。从小就在教会看人家洗礼,但没想到总有一天会轮到我

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10th December, 2016—Before baptism

Today is my last day living as an unbaptised individual. My last day was spent with my parents along Orchard Road, taking in the Christmas atmosphere and soaking in the beautiful night lights. I decided to wear my Stussy shirt for baptism. Not because of how much I loved it but also because I felt that it was the shirt I wore when I sinned most in 2016. Very ironical because I’ll be still wearing a pure white robe over it but I wore it to remind myself of my own brokenness and how horrible humans can get sometimes. It’s the huge contrast between human sin and the righteousness of God that gets to me. Of course, we’re required to wear dark coloured shirts so my shirt fits the bill HAHAH.

Many people have come and asked me why I wanted to get baptised. I think when it comes it just comes very naturally like you’re ready to take this step of faith, and it’s a natural thing to do in obedience to the Lord, so I didn’t really see it as something that should be very self-glorifying. I have been having this intention since 2015 so I think one year is a pretty good year to prep myself for it hehee.

I can’t believe it’s the last day of being unbaptised already…it feels weird to think that from tomorrow on I will be baptised. I know salvation doesn’t depend on this act but it still means a lot to me. I feel the pressure and expectations to become holier HAHAHA.

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Reason why I’m so excited it’s cause of how I see the significance of this event. Dipping myself into the water means…BURYING me..it means Dying. Emergence from the water, on the other hand, means like I’m entering into life with Jesus, resurrecting with Him. I found so much relevance and lessons I can learn from my own baptism, to defeat and conquer life’s problems.


11th December 2016—After baptism

When I was young I had many versions of how it would look like when I would be finally baptised, and none of those visions in my head look like the reality that happened today. I can say it wasn’t what I exactly expected, but I wasn’t exactly very surprised either. 

As a person who usually have the tendency to share whatever I do with friends and make a big deal out of birthday parties, festivals and important milestones in my life, today was something different. I would be lying if I’m not upset that most of my batch girls did not turn up for my baptism, even my best sisters Evan and Jan failed to turn up, my most encouraging Sister in Christ Yeeyen was not here, neither was Edmond and LK.

I have the tendency to make things grand not to show off to be honest…but because I felt every occasion in my life should be celebrated to its maximum potential. But this time round was different. It’s not that I didn’t invite people, but I was not that forceful anymore. I felt that this also could be a good thing, because all these flurry of activities and happening people etc, could also be distracting and take me away from my main focus, which should be the One and Only Living God. It could take away the real meaning of baptism, which is to truly ponder and reflect on my renewed relationship with Christ. Of course, as a regular celebrator and 凡事都做的很夸张的人, i would feel a little upset that I didn’t accept any flowers at all…

My parents did not give me any gifts nor flowers; I mean I would be sad but I would still try to understand. Gifts has never been their love language (out of the 5 love languages). Worse still, my dad totally forgot about his camera in the morning. The camera is a very important thing to my dad and he is completely obsessed with taking photos. IT IS NOT LIKE HIM TO NOT BRING HIS CAMERA AT ALL! Graduation day, birthday party, Normal outings, you name it; he would bring the camera to take pictures of us. The fact that he forgot in such an important occasion made me sad….that maybe he was so caught up in his own stuff and activities that he forgot. After I reminded him, he kept thanking me and was so eager to prepare his camera. I wanted to tell him how I felt and maybe express my disappointment a little haha, but I kept my mouth shut because I wanted to forgive him. Actually his reaction after I told him wasn’t that bad.

If it’s non christians it’s acceptable not to give gifts because they don’t know but my bible study group and my parents very well know how much baptism means to me—I have spoken about it to them so many times before. But then again I’m not super salty; even I myself is surprised by my own reaction! HAHA. If it’s a birthday party I’d probably be very very upset to the point of tears but…I’m just especially calm and peaceful about everything I don’t know why. I’m kind of happy I reacted this way because it’s the first time I get to see this side of myself. The low profile Grace, and experiencing real humility and saying baptism is not really about me, myself and I.

I’m just really touched and Glad that Elisha and dexter got me a gift though…(above pic) I don’t really talk to them often…and the fact that they still remembered and bothered is amazing. It shows how caring they are and it made me feel guilty for not spending time with them or even contributing to any gifts for their birthdays etc. I don’t even know their birthdays OOPS. I guess I shouldn’t feel so upset that the batch girls didn’t come or even text to wish me because I have not been bothering with their very special days in the first place. I even forgot Esther’s birthday and didn’t even text. I really need to make it my resolution to be more involved with my church sisters and I really have to drop and thank you text to Elisha and Dexter later. 

Anyway, the old has gone, the new has come. I’m a New Creation! It feels surreal that today is actually my spiritually birthday. I’ve always been accustomed to being called a March baby; an Aries, the firstborn of the zodiac; always the first to celebrate with the Jan/Feb babies and always counted as the oldest age in NAPFA tests; I’ve never ever thought my birthday to be at the end of the year. I believe that greater significance should be placed on spiritual birthdays rather than physical birthdays. Now that my birthday is 11.12.16, happy re-birthday to me!

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