Before Sunrise

No wonder they say boarding trains are so romantic.

I’ve never boarded a train before, I mean, a train from Europe or a train towards Europe. Yeah, that sort of train. I heard many things happen on trains. Oh how I wish I could, staring out of the window, reading a book, or even meeting new people along the way, sharing stories—I heard good things happen on trains.

Or maybe it’s really like in the books and movies.

He convinced her to get off the train with her.

I know, this is an insane idea, probably too dangerous in real life—you’ll never know if the guy turns out to be some sort of con men, rapist, robber or whatsoever—but I read something somewhere: and is that when you fully trust someone, you’ll get one thing: a person for life or a lesson for life.

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is this really a 1995 movie? I mean, it’s so relatable today! All their conversations could be found coming out of our mouths today, is it time travel or am I really an old soul?

Europe is beautiful.

(PS/ I would like to meet a guy on the train that whisks me away too.)

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Their conversation covers everything—from family backgrounds, to parenting, to worldview, to astrology, to religion, to relationships, to feminism…gender…to school, to the concept of time and space, to life and death, to the afterlife, to paintings and history and music and murals and just about everything unconventional that I also happen to love.

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Everything said here is so true and magically, they are thoughts I always had but can’t seem to express into words. I’ve always been a sentimentalist, a person who puts romantic projections on everything—and frankly speaking, I do have a love hate relationship with this trait of mine. It does feel good, of course, to look out of the window of a bus as the rain trickled down the window panes, imagining that you’re in some sort of scene from a movie; but I hate to admit, real life often does not play out scenes like how it is in a movie—even if you’re kissing in the rain and the leaves were bent in the most cinematic angle.

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This “breaking up” theory is true too. I have been with two guys; one of whom I had broken up with and another who left me.

Of course, you’ll like to think that both of you are in great pain after a break up, but I’m sorry, the person who broke up with you would not remember this as a sentimental incident, it means nothing more to them than a mere incident occurring on a normal day.

That’s how little I thought of it when breaking up with my ex, and frankly speaking, it does not hurt to delight that way. Sometimes, you might even despise them because you don’t love them anymore, and all they do is cling onto you helplessly, which is quite pathetic.

Then came the day where the roles are reversed. Almost, it feels like retribution.

When there’s someone else breaking up with you and you remember how little YOU thought of THOSE MEN you broke up with, you start to despise yourself because you know YOU ARE IN THEIR SHOES NOW, and YOU deserved to be despised just like how YOU despised those men who cling onto you in the past. You feel sorry and embarrassed for yourself because you never thought you will be experiencing the exact same feelings your ex felt when you broke up with him.

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This is exactly how I feel-the feeling of disappointment when you talk to someone you like, expecting that they’ll likely to understand things that are important to you. However, after a whole round of desperate explanation: to your disappointment and utter dismay, the people that matter most to you don’t understand the things that matter most to you. They don’t, I’m so sorry.

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