昨天匆匆忙忙地在 carousell 买了黎耀祥的书,拿到书后不到5分钟, 就忍不住撕开包装….我从不读中文书籍,何况我中文水平又不是说很好。打开来看原来是繁体字啊啊啊!可是人家说读了这本书后会看到一个不同的黎耀祥,何况这名演员把《巾帼一》,《巾帼二》演得这么棒,我怎么能不捧捧场呢。好吧我承认我已陷入沉迷《义海》无法自拔…哈哈哈哈于是毫不犹豫地买下。紧张与兴奋的心情纠结在一起,我翻开了书,手腕手指都在颤抖着。

So excited to read.

昨晚睡觉前还随随便便地翻了翻几页,却无意中被一句话所吸引:“在一站过一站的同时要准备下一站的到来,” 黎耀祥叙述了把戏演得好,演得真的过程。这句话很熟悉么….

“在弹这个音符的同时你就必要想下一个音符的到来!” 这番话在我脑海中响起。

接着又读到,“演员要感动观众,就要必先感动自己。”

“符秀蔚,你这样才不会弹的断断续续…才能用情感来带动音乐,你的旋律才能感动人心。”
读到这里,我就不禁想起古筝演凑,排练的那段期间。虽然很艰苦,但是在舞台上的任务,目的就是要打动人心。

起初买这本书时是想,“哎,戏剧与娱乐圈跟我无关,我简直是个门外汉,随便玩玩看看就好。” 不过阅读就是会在你意想不到的时候让你惊喜。我阅读时才想起我学过古筝:排练,比赛,演出…足足十年(2004-2013)。有几位好朋友都说我很drama. 或者伤心时,矛盾时,他们都说:“omg grace, what drama happened again…” I took it as an insult. To be called “drama” doesn’t simply means “drama” anymore, simply because the word “drama” has a connotation in our society that the person is making a mountain out of a molehill, loves stirring drama etc.

Like, “Oh that girl, she’s very drama one.”
Hidden connotation: Drama queen. Stay away from her. In short, “drama” has a negative connotation in the real life. It also means when someone calls you that, the person doesn’t recognise the pain that you are experiencing, and it hurts a hell lot more if it comes out of the mouth of a good friend. Why? Because he/she doesn’t really understands. Would you tell someone whose mother had just died, “oh sorry for your loss, that’s so drama.” No right???

So why would you tell someone that when that someone is obviously upset and has a right reason to be.

我常常因为被叫“drama”而感到不解。是因为我曾是个表演者么?有关系吗?If I have to constantly evoke my emotions and summon it on stage with me, doing it for 10 years and trying to bring the best feelings into my melody: creating a whole surreal mood, imaginary setting etc, does it affect in the way I carry myself now? 我常常想着是否有带点影响?我记得我很喜欢弹那首《幻想曲》,旋律让我感觉迷迷昏昏的,好像会飞似的。做戏和弹古筝是有关联的。你要弹琴,你就必须做戏。

读到黎耀祥这本书我才领悟到:原来喜剧世界,如梦人生啊。能做戏,给观众说故事,是演员的光荣。书上有一句真的把我虐哭了:“戏里戏外,情假情真,到头来连真假都再也分不开,只希望曲终人散之后,灵魂深处满载着多姿多彩的故事。”我真的很喜欢讲故事,你都不知道我有多喜欢。在设计方面也好,创作方面也罢。人生如戏,戏如人生。每次看戏都埋怨为什么自己的人生不能如戏。

“如果是戏,他就会来了。。。”
“如果是戏,生活就不会闷了。。。”
“如果是戏,做坏事警察也不一定捉到人的。。。哈哈哈”

可是 “世事往往是充满了矛盾与讽刺,参不透,看不通。”其实我不必那么生气别人叫我“drama”啊。不一定是坏事。因为世事就是如此:参不透,看不通。