Unit guide

12.25pm

Today was a rough day.

Being the last day to enrol in our units, I finally made the decision to withdraw from a unit and enrol in another in place of that, then enrol again into an internship.

One of the most difficult decisions in my academic life. I had to weigh the pros and cons, it was a long and painful process which plagued me every single day, screaming at me to get it done, yet I pushed it to the back of my mind, simply because there were too many factors to consider and I simply do not have the mental capacity to do so for the past 2 weeks.

Today being the deadline, I have come face to face with it.

I have always wanted to do an internship this semester but couldn’t do so because I couldn’t meet the pre-requites. Then, I discovered that I could actually do an internship this semester by enrolling myself into a particular unit simultaneously, which will fulfill the pre-requites. But enrolling myself into that unit would mean withdrawing from one of my current units I am taking.

At two weeks into the semester, I was hesitant. It would mean that I will have 2 weeks’ worth of workload to catch up on, and not only that, 2 units worth of 2 weeks overdue workload. Plus, an internship is not an easy feat. I have only been in this country for less than a year, I can’t even talk to the locals properly without feeling awkward. Work in this country? Isn’t it a bit too early for that? I really might want to settle down first, learn more stuff before I continue.

At the same time, the advantages and benefits of getting an internship this semester seemed too appealing to ignore. I was caught in a dilemma.

  1. If I do an internship now, my workload for next semester would be lighter. I am doing three 300 level units next semester, not to mention they are all core units. Can you imagine adding another internship to it?
  2. I’ve looked through the available job listings for the internship and the opportunities seemed too good to pass up. I really wanted to try.
  3. I am kind of happy to be withdrawing from my current unit in order to take up the internship since I do not feel quite right there. It is a good unit, but I couldn’t place my finger on what’s wrong. I only went for one tutorial, yet I feel like I’m not really learning in that unit. I’m not very interested, the stuff that I’m doing is not really relevant so I just felt like the unit wasn’t really pushing me to my full potential. There’s just something amiss.
  4. Lastly, it is crucial because, at this emotional time of my life, I need to feel productive and motivated. I need something to strive for, to focus on, to distract myself.

So yeah after a few rounds of thought, I went with it. The dilemma itself just drained me…I am so so tired now but I am glad I have made my decision…

I would be lying if I said I didn’t fear what is to come. I knew I would be overwhelmed. I opened iLearn and immediately, saw the new units loaded into the system. I opened them, saw the chunks and chunks of information and lectures and readings to-do lists and presentations (kill me) and class participation (kill me, social life) and grew even fainter at the thought of me not even 1% there…………….

The price I had to pay was evident.

I mean, I think I can tackle it all and catch up on my new workload if I work really hard but I didn’t say it’s going to be easy….this daunts me. It’s so overwhelming. I was supposed to write a draft for an assignment due and submit it at a tutorial tomorrow, but I felt like all the information hit me and I don’t feel like doing anything now…..

Except calling my loved ones and telling them how much I miss them, and they whisper in my ear it’s okay, Grace, it’s okay.

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