Week 1 of the term break has gone fairly well. Unlike the previous spring break, where it was filled with exciting events everyday, this semester was more hectic, with more work, less motivation to have fun (personally) and a wave of homesickness sweeping over me every now and then. Life has gone stale.

Yesterday I came back from internship feeling so tired that I just wanted to sit on my bed and do nothing for the rest of the night.

I became a movie trash bag and took up so many books and movies for the last week: Unbroken, The Series of Unfortunate Events, Braveheart, The Grand Budapest Hotel. I went to May & Ian’s place the other day and their house was like a DVD paradise—countless DVD filled the shelves from top to bottom, I was so struck on the spot you have no idea. What a film buff! They let me take two DVDs home: I grabbed Sherlock Holmes Season 2 and the Grand Budapest Hotel, which I finished watching today.

The Grand Budapest Hotel was very impressive, and funny, too. I am thankful for it because it’s such a light-hearted comedy, and what a great way to end the night. I am always thankful and appreciative of good content, especially when in this one, the production design is so impressive! Everything from the colour scheme, the graphics, the typography, the elaborate set (which is so detailed I can’t imagine the amount of attention and thought put into it)…ALL of them appealed to my creative eye.

Beautiful craftsmanship. Beautiful execution. Amazing soundtrack. To say that it is nice would be an understatement.

The whole movie was very much like a storybook, with its story being told in parts and divided into chapters and stuff. It is told with a narration, and the lines are written in such flowery language hahaha. Certainly very special!

After the end of the show, my housemate and I began a very long conversation about books and movies. Through that, I discovered that she has covered lots of books and movies before—from the whole Disney collection to most of the movies…while I, in contrast, do have lots to catch up on. I won’t even say what I have not watched here cos it’s embarrassing ahhaha. At the same time..to think of how many movies and TV series she watched…how much time did it take her?? Holy shit, that must take up a whole lot of time in our lifetime. What if we added them all up? What if we didn’t use that time to watch movies, what other things could we have accomplished? (not saying that my housemate didn’t accomplish anything but aiyah you get the idea, it is the scary part of realising how much time u spent just watching content)

But then I began to think deeper about how I am spending my time, and how I am living my life. I don’t know if I am thinking too much but I will put my thoughts down here and hopefully, I can phrase them into words. For a first, I think I mentioned before that I do have a list of movies to watch. I guess how I viewed this list, was like a to-do list, and I feel satisfied when I check the movies off. I understand that it is a leisure activity, but it does not take long for me to fall into the trap of gaining fulfillment from this and I began to treat it like homework, and I have this urgency and rush to finish it (even though my main priority is still school work, not to worry).

When I was talking to my housemate, she introduced me to many movies—and I also realized there are many popular movies that I have missed out on: Narnia, Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Doctor Strange. I have never watched a single Marvel movie in my life and I have also never watched a single Korean drama in my life (apart from those screened on the TV). Then as I was talking to her I slowly felt the burden of adding these movies to my list (currently have 23 movies on my list), and I got scared. I got scared because I feel like I have to watch them, but at the same time, I don’t want to add to my ‘workload’. It’s kind of ironic really if you get what I mean.

Which brings me to my next train of thought. What is the purpose of watching movies? How does it enrich my life? How would it help me, ultimately, in pursuing my goal of living a life with calling and vision and achieving things instead of just mindless entertainment? Sure, we love being entertained, we love being happy, but I don’t want to lead a meaningless life, and if any aspect of my life doesn’t contribute to that meaning, I am wasting my time, and I don’t wish to waste a single second of my time here on Earth. It sounds radical but I understand in order to succeed in a common world when everyone’s common, I need to have a radical mindset.

They do inspire us, for one. That’s a valid point. Inspire me to get my design inspiration. Inspire me to live out values, to change my perspective.
Two: They help us live through stories that we will never get to live through in our lifetime.
Three: They make us more understanding and empathetic individuals by stepping into the shoes of another.
Four: The power of storytelling. We take in stories so that we can tell ours when the time is to come.
Five: They romanticise what can’t be romanticised in real life. They present a utopia, an idealistic version of the world I hope to live in. (EG. even if it was a bad ending, a movie always have some kind of conclusion, whilst in real life we can just be hanging there)

I guess I just have it at that. I’ll update this if I can think of more. Now, it seems like my life has peaked last year and is coming to a plateau. Everyday’s routine is just work, and if I’m free, I’ll grab a book or two, or watch a movie. Book, movie, work, sleep. Repeat.

What’s all this meaninglessness? I know the rest of the world lives like that too. Book, movie, work, sleep, or maybe go out with friends. Why am I hustling with the rest of the world? Why do we act as if we have a lot of time on our hands when in fact, life is just a mist? Can I continue living my life like ‘book, movie, work, sleep’ when I know my time on earth is limited???

Ugh. When can I start acting on my dreams, on my destiny, tapping on the greatest strength within me? And the bigger question is: how do I do it?