Pen pal

5.06pm

Ahhh…spring. The weather is getting warmer. Actually, I think I did talk about the weather in my last post too. People in Australia can’t seem to stop talking about the changing weather, especially my lifegroup. hahaha. It’s the same as people in Britain.

I walked to school today with my housemate again. The three of us stayed up late till the night yesterday for a Harry Potter movie Marathon. Completed only the first 2 movies…but it was so much fun! We’re doing it later again. After school as I was returning home, it was getting hotter but I decided to walk home instead of catching the bus. I’m really growing fond of this ritual—walking I mean. It’s funny considering how when I first moved to Australia I hated walking, but the roads were made in such way that people have to walk quite a distance before they get to their homes. I moved from my previous place in Epping just because I didn’t want to walk. And now, I can’t believe I’m falling in love with it.

In the afternooon the weather got quite hot, that by the time I reached home, I was literally sweating. It’s the first time I’ve sweated in months actually. Except for the time I was in Europe over the summer, it has been winter and really cold here in Aussie so I never really made the effort to move about. It’s quite unhealthy hahaa.

Now, I could not only save money but also exercise by walking to school. I have to walk through a creek each time, and my housemate told me she saw a snake and when I came back I saw a monitor lizard. Really fascinating hahaha. At night, we could see possums outside our house jumping against our windows, making a loud noise. It happened last night during the movie marathon and we freaked out a bit.

I had a revelation when I was walking back home from school, is that I am really thankful for my housemate. I am so so grateful about our newfound friendship. She moved in about July and in the past, even though we lived under the same roof, we hardly talked, just retire into our rooms each time we got home. Now we’re using the common area and all! I’m thankful because the 6 of us (my clique of friends) don’t meet up that often now, and I don’t really hangout with the rest of my friends—not that we have drifted apart,  just maybe everyone’s really busy right now and no one made a move to go out—so could you imagine what I would do without a social life, if I didn’t have my housemate to provide me with some form of interaction day in day out? And I think it’s really convenient cos we live in the same house. This morning I walked to school with her, and idk, it’s just nice having someone go to school with you together instead of catching the bus alone.

—–

Something strange also happened this week. So there’s this pen pal of mine from Malaysia, I never spoke about her here because I never actually met her in real life. She’s around my age, Malaysian but living in the United States. I got to know her in about 2016 through stumbling upon her blog. I found her to be quite nice, hence I reached out in comments and slowly, we corresponded through email this year. I think our first messages through email was in May. I found her inspiring, talking to her was an absolute pleasure. She seemed eager to be friends too, telling me she’ll show me around Penang if I ever go to Malaysia/KL one day and promised to send pictures on her upcoming vacation. We talked for quite some time, and it continued for quite some time even after I came back from Europe. Nothing was particularly wrong, until I had an inkling that the conversation have started to feel forced, and from her side, that she’s having some personal troubles of her own. I didn’t want to intrude, so I never asked. So I replied her emails as per normal, not knowing that it might be the last email I send to her and that I would never hear from her again.

I learnt from her blog that she thinks “Christianity is one of the most damaging things ever” (somewhere along those lines) and I went, “Thank God, she didn’t know I’m a Christian.” As a Christian, I am fully aware of how people might view and judge me based on my religion. I am always afraid, to come off too strongly, or fear that anti-Christ people would unfriend or stay away from me just because I’m one.

She did not reply me for weeks, so I sensed that something was wrong but didn’t think too much about it as well. I thought she had merely forgot, so I sent a second email to her sharing about some of my experiences (wasn’t rushing her or anything) but to my horror, I checked back on her blog out of curiosity that day and alas, all the content was gone. It had become a protected blog. She had locked it, my guess is probably that the things she blogged about are started to get too personal and she didn’t feel comfortable about me reading it. The thing that baffles me is why she stopped replying the emails. Is it because she had discovered something about my religion? Or is it just because she’s going through a tough time? Or maybe she didn’t know how to tell me that she didn’t want me reading her blog anymore. I mean, she could have told me if this was the case, and obviously she had the rights to lock her blog. But I thought it was a bit rude to leave me hanging and not reply, I just felt a little confused that she didn’t. After all, I thought she was really inspiring and seemed like a very nice person to be friends with, maybe not after all. Disappointing.


 

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