What everybody needs to hear: ‘A Star Is Born’ Review

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I caught ‘A Star Is Born’ at the theatres yesterday. I have been already listening to the soundtrack for weeks, and knowing it will be an emotional movie, I didn’t go in the company of anyone else.

Without giving away much of the plot, Ally (Lady Gaga) is a 30-something woman about to give up on her dreams of becoming a singer…until she met Jackson (Bradley Cooper), who helps her fulfill her dream. She shoots into stardom, but their relationship is not without a struggle. Jackson constantly struggles with drugs and alcohol, watching it is merely disturbing and heartbreaking.

The film addresses such dark themes, and overall, mental health. The seriousness of it. However, what stood out most for me is Ally’s journey from obscurity to fame. Not many movies can portray it in such a raw manner. The joy and disbelief that comes with that change are so real. Ally wants a voice all along, even as she battles her insecurities and doubts. Suddenly, she’s got a voice as she shoots to stardom, and the question is what to do with the voice and the challenges that come with it.

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“Look, talent comes everywhere, but having something to say and a way to say it so that people listen to it, that’s a whole other bag. And unless you get out and you try to do it, you’ll never know. That’s just the truth.

And there’s one reason we’re supposed to be here is to say something so people want to hear. So you got to grab it, and you don’t apologize, and you don’t worry about why they’re listening, or how long they’re going to be listening for, you just tell them what you want to say.”

I left the theatres feeling deeply satisfied like someone has taken the effort to voice out something unspoken inside of me. In this world when information is so saturated and everyone is fighting for their own voice, it can be overwhelming. Our insecurities can tell us that what we are saying is crap, that people will judge us for it and we are unable to hold people’s attention span. A Star Is Born encourages one to keep fighting, pursuing their dreams, no matter how old they are. It killed some cynicism inside of me.

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Both of them took the audience’s breath away when they sang together

Gaga’s acting is so raw and incredible, considering that this is her first major role. Their on-screen chemistry is amazing and afterward, Gaga gushes about Cooper in almost every interview.

Many of the soundtracks, were, in fact, like the soundtrack of my life. ‘Shallow’, ‘Always Remember Us This Way’, and lastly, the bittersweet ‘I’ll Never Love Again’ describes so perfectly the loyalty of a true love—that it never fades, never wavers and always remembers.

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“I think you’re beautiful.”

Patrick Melrose

I watched the TV series adaptation, Patrick Melrose, this year. A line in it says: “you get excited thinking that someone can mend your broken heart, and disappointed when you realize they can’t.”

Except that I get excited thinking that I can mend someone else’s broken heart, and disappointed when I realize I can’t.

I have come to realize, that people can’t be helped unless they want to help themselves. Unless they accept help. Especially people whose lives are shaped and disfigured by their parents.

Benedict Cumberbatch did a great job playing someone so damaged, as always. At the end of it all, Patrick Melrose is a story about how a child can take on the ghosts of their parents. It’s sad, that I know someone like that, whose toxicity in the family is passed down. In many ways, we live out our parents’ unresolved lives, their struggles in their marriage, things like not being financially stable can create a fear in the child, a fear of poverty. It is so common. This phenomenon is seen in people around me, sadly.

“but if I’m going have to break out into the world, not…not just this, but the REAL world, to learn something, make a contribution, live rather than survive, then I’m going to have to say these things out loud.”

“perhaps the only way to live on is to become more detached from yourself and more attached to someone else.”

Cultural products

My housemates and I might have gone on a recent watch binge from the end of September to the recent October.

For days we’ve spent on the couch by the kitchen, binge-watching a marathon of all 8 Harry Potter films. We laughed, we joked, paused the video and talked, adding yet another layer of wonderful memories entangled with the magic of Harry Potter in my heart.

Harry Potter had been a really weird experience for me. Unlike others who usually grew up with HP and had its magic with them since childhood, my HP experience was fuelled by vivid memories of London. Memories of the WB studio tour, walking through the halls of Oxford Uni, or passing by the sweet shops that sell chocolate frogs, or even getting my very first set of HP pajamas at Primark. For those days in September, I wore those pajamas whenever I watched Harry Potter and dreamed of London.

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I was deeply enchanted by this Buckbeak flight scene. With the familiar feelings of flight, excitement, anticipation, awe, and wonder. To have and experience all these feelings is truly a blessing and I am thankful for it myself.

I took the Pottermore quiz a while back, and I am sorted into Gryffindor House. To be honest, I identify very strongly with a Gryffindor—hated to be thought of as ordinary, I value traits like bravery, courage, and determination—as well as the recklessness and stubbornness of Harry. The obstacles he faced are sometimes so dangerous and beyond all comprehension. Being a Gryffindor almost gave me the inner strength to push forward, knowing what they’re like, and how it really feels to face obstacles in this world that cannot be named.

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So it came as a surprise when I fell hard for Prof Snape, in my opinion, the bravest and kindest Slytherin. I realize I am falling for dark, emotionally constipated characters who don’t show their emotions but actually love the deepest. Characters that seem robotic, emotionally heartless. A string of them in fact: Sherlock, Loki and now Prof Snape. Me too, I realized, when I was young I fell quick and fast, and is never afraid to let the world how I feel, always. As for now, I held love in such high regard that I think it is better not to talk about it. It’s something sacred, something to only talk about with God and myself. I get frustrated when people treat love as a topic of juicy gossip, people who will never understand why is that I avoid this topic with all effort.

But Prof Snape would. Prof Snape is one that has loved, and always loved, and all his actions are driven by love even though it is probably too hard to tell from the surface.

Anyway. Harry Potter was a deep encouragement to me, one to fight on, with courage and bravery. The magic of Hogwarts would live in so many people’s hearts forever. Life there was hard and tough with the onsight of evil forces lurking in the distance, and they didn’t have their family with them, but the only thing they had was friendship. Love and friendship held a high place in such academies when students sleep in dorms side by side with each other. When I came overseas, friendship held a high place in my heart too.


 

Recently I’ve been consuming more cultural products than usual, books and movies and stories. Movies were never just entertainment for me. They inspire me deeply and give me hope. They’re seen as something educational, it expands my knowledge on cultures and history, and society, and most of all, I can relate to the stories in movies, those precious stories that give me hope and my position in life.

 “When I read the script for Gump, I saw it as one of those kind of grand, hopeful movies that the audience can go to and feel … some hope for their lot and their position in life … I got that from the movies a hundred million times when I was a kid. I still do.”
—Forrest Gump

2018 is a good movie year Y’all. so many quality content and representation—black representation in black panther, and now Asian representation in Crazy Rich Asians. Not to mention movies we’ve been waiting for forever, like Incredibles 2 and Infinity War. A Star is Born is also out in theatres this week—̆by the talented Lady Gaga. I can’t wait to watch it. I have severely high expectations for this one, people said Gaga’s acting is brilliant and she deserved an Oscar.

I also watched a war movie the other day—Saving Private Ryan! I have started watching it like a long time ago but never got round to going pass the 30 mins lengthy battle scene at the start of the movie. After that is actually really awesome hey.

A few of my favorite quotes:

I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.

^ about death

War educates the senses, calls into action the will, perfects the physical constitution, brings men into such swift and close collision in critical moments that man measures man.

^ Perhaps the most accurate quote about war. They said that the mark of any great nation is the journey it has endured on its path to glory. I totally agree. Freedom is bought. The price of freedom has always been high. The men had to earn the right to go home, by fighting and winning.

Saving Private Ryan questions the value of life. Is the life of one valuable enough to sacrifice the life of 8? 8 men went on a mission to search for one, and this time the mission is a man. The scenes that involved people dying were gory, and painful to watch, especially when they don’t want to go, they’re not ready to go, I could sense that fear, that feeling of unpreparedness and their mates watching in helplessness.


 

I watched Pride and Prejudice the following morning. This one was easier to watch.

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my fave line from Mr Darcy. I can relate to this so much! I have always thought of myself as a poor verbal communicator.

The message of this light-hearted romantic film is simple: Do not judge someone so quickly. It is also educational, giving me some insights on the societal context of 19th century England. Especially the scenery, it really brings back memories of my summer trip…

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Romantic films were once my favourite genre. However, in the recent years, I’ve held a slight disdain for them because they tend to be over cheesy and portray romance in a way that looks cheap. I admit, that my cynical attitude towards romance is not one that is easy to please. However, Pride and Prejudice’s maturity could convince me to like its plot, probably the only romance film that does the concept of love justice. Cinderella, no. The little mermaid, no. Titanic…touching and deeply passionate, but no. The notebook? Too cheesy. Gossip Girl? Absolute trash, sleeping with each other here and there. Oh, and chick flicks are an absolute NO unless I’m looking for a silly night with nothing being taken seriously.

Pride and Prejudice is different. It managed to show sincere affection between two people without physical contact, and the mannerisms of the 19th century, class relations were all portrayed really clearly. Not to mention the soundtrack is really amazing! No lyrics, but still. I’m really glad I watched it because I can read the book with ease now. Since it’s a literature book, I figured I’m going to have a very hard time deciphering it and hopefully watching the movie would help me understand it better.

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“Only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony.”

Forbidden love: The Crown Review

The Crown, as you know, is about the Royals, about the reign of the dazzling Queen Elizabeth as the main character, but perhaps what stole the show was the short-lived love affair between Margaret and Peter Townsend.

These star-crossed lovers got me a couple of times, with their subplot pulling at my heartstrings, I couldn’t help feeling indignant towards them.

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Their proposal for marriage faced strong objection not only from the state but also from the government body. As the church of England, royals like Margaret aren’t supposed to marry divorced persons like Peter. After waiting it out for 2 years with the hope that they’ll finally be able to marry, but that was not to be. These two are finally reunited; but they soon find themselves separated again, and this time, for good.

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I am no stranger to the concept of forbidden love. Perhaps I know the feeling that it comes like the dagger straight to my heart, that as a Christian, it is both against my parents’ wishes and God’s wishes to marry a non-Christian, someone outside the faith. You may think I’m silly, that in this modern age, nobody clings onto traditional values like this, but I don’t have a choice because my relationship with God is important to me as well.

I think the negotiation in today’s post does not lie in whether a Christian can marry outside the faith or not; but let’s assume we cannot, then the negotiation lies in divided loyalties, the party to blame. Should we be angry at God for prohibiting our relationship? Our parents? Myself? And sometimes it hurts because there is no one to blame at all.

Perhaps that is why when the time came for Margaret to choose, with great agony, between the call of duty and love; that I felt great pain for her—marrying a divorced person at that time was against the Holy Scriptures, the church of England didn’t allow it; and no matter how we matter dismiss these values today, they stand in face of their unique situation.

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Despite his record as a courageous fighter ace, [Townsend] was gentle, sensitive, and intuitive, qualities that appealed to the vulnerable core hidden beneath Margaret’s willful, confident exterior. When Townsend accompanied the royal family on a tour of South Africa in 1947, the two were in each other’s company every day. “We rode together every morning in that wonderful country, in marvelous weather,” the Princess told a confidante. “That’s when I really fell in love with him.”

For once, I know how it is to love that kind of man. That kind of man that seems more passive, quiet and probably duller than me but really…is the one silently supporting me from behind, is really the one shining, the one to hold me together. Gentle, sensitive, intuitive. The one that complements my fire, that wild spirit inside; the one who can tame it, nurture it, shape it without being burned himself. Rather decent and old-fashioned. “Easy qualities to mock,” Margaret says. “Easy to miss, too.”

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“I won’t let them send you away. I won’t.”

“Even though both Townsend and Margaret went on to marry others—with Margaret’s marriage to photographer Anthony Armstrong-Jones ending in its own scandalous divorce—Townsend was always considered to be the great love of Princess Margaret’s life.”

Perhaps we only fall in love once, and that happened when we least expect it, or that one romance early in life that was everything. Then as we grow older we just find people who fulfil our ‘checklists’…financial security, tick. Appropriate age gap, tick. Preferred race, tick. Similar values, a similar religion, tick. Royals have to marry royals. Easier to live together this way. A safe route.

But if you have a checklist is that really love?

I always believe love is just…unexplainable. It just happens, you just love a person, you don’t know why. If you say, “well, he’s so cute,” or “well, he’s just the sweetest being ever, so responsible and romantic,” then perhaps you’re in love with his qualities, qualities that fulfil your requirement in a lover. Of course, that’s not to say we shouldn’t appreciate or look out for these qualities, but if these qualities become the reason you love someone, then…chances are you’re letting it define your relationship, and when that crumbles, your marriage would crumble, too.

Loving has no explanation. It is loving the person, embracing their flaws (unless they assault you or whatever then please go to the police la) HAHHAA.

Maybe there is such a fine line between requirements and real love, that we don’t know what’s the difference anymore. All I know is I felt strongly, that Margaret’s great love is Peter Townsend, that one love that we will never forget no matter what, that one precious love early in your teens that if it has worked out for you, you know you’re the lucky ones.

Midnight in Paris

Watched a film I put off for a long time, Midnight in Paris last night. Before I played it I already knew I would not only enjoy it, but it would resonate deeply with me.

I was having a bad day, but Midnight in Paris totally cheered me up and transported me to another world.

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Plot: A writer travels back through time in Paris in the 1920s every night, and mingles with famous writers and painters to get inspiration.

Wow. For a start, ok, this film is a visual feast. The filming locations are usually outdoors, in beautiful locations, so romantic, so picturesque. The soundtrack, oh my god, it accompanies everything. The jazz…so relaxing, it’s really my type of music. That’s how it drew me in.

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That’s exactly how I see the world, through those lenses of fantasy, taking in the charming allure of the city. I think that’s why I have such strong attachment to my Europe trip. I romanticise places. A lot.

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The lines in the film are also exceptionally beautiful and inspiring for me as a designer, writer, artist, content creator.

THE CONCEPT OF CREATING

But Midnight in Paris is not just that. It’s about content creation, inspiration, ambition. The power of believing and giving a shot. Probably too late to be a writer, but I do believe people have what it takes inside of them to succeed.

“We all fear death and question our place in the universe. The artist’s job is not to succumb to despair, but to find an antidote to the emptiness of existence.”

I think that’s the highest form of calling. I think this is what I’ve been searching for all along. I recently came across this Japanese concept ‘ikigai’ online, which means ‘the reason for being’. It means combining doing what you love, what you’re good at and what the world needs all at the same time. I think what the world needs is an antidote to the emptiness of existence. I do believe I have the antidote—God, of course—but not everyone believes in God and some people even pushes away the gospel. I’m afraid I don’t have it all figured out, I want to help people, but I don’t know how to…and I’m still trying to figure out how to present my antidote to the world in another way. Though I’m not going to pressure myself, because I believe all things come in its own timing. As an aspiring writer/artist, seeing how they talk about art in the film is…rather confronting. Real art is confronting I think. It might be harrowing, but I think in a sense it questions our being and through that, encourages people to find their own ‘ikigai’.

Anyways watching the artists at work just makes me very very inspired, to bring my abstract concepts to the world.

The question is what can I offer?

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The film inspires me because it tells me it’s never too late to start. Yes, I’m young, but I always believe our time on earth is very limited. Gil (the main character) took a real shot at being a writer, to me, he’s inspiring. This sounds cliche, but pursuing our dreams is inspiring, no matter how old you are. And if you’re in a field like accountancy, or medicine, or law, those professions usually have a fixed path, a corporate ladder—but in my field, the world of content creation, the creative industry, we hustle and hustle in obscurity. I have lost track of the times where I felt so unheard, my voice so insignificant and soft. This film then is so peculiar, because Gil is also a normal, insignificant person that gets to hang out with the greatest giants of the literary world—F Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Pablo Picasso.

THE CONCEPT OF LOVING

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“I believe that love is true and real and create a respite from death. All cowardice comes from not loving, or not loving well, which is the same thing. And when the man who is brave and true looks at death squarely in the face, it is because they love with sufficient passion, to push death out of their minds.” —Ernest Hemingway

I know this. I know this full well because I had a man give up on us because of his fears.

Because he was too afraid. Afraid of exactly what, I don’t know.

Afraid of commitment, afraid of poverty, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to carry the heavy crown on my head.

“I’m sure you’ll be a very successful designer.”
“So what? Why does it scare you if, just if, I’m more successful than you?”

But whatever the fears are, all fears stem from one fear—the fear of death.
We are sinful beings that deserve death in the first place. Perhaps the reason why we’re so fearful of the future and about the little things in life is that we know death is the unavoidable outcome, and we try so hard to make our lives matter.

I had asked him, “Do you like me enough?”
I’d like to think the hidden connotation to my question was, “Do you like me enough to call it real love?”

He couldn’t answer.

Maybe the answer is no. Perhaps it has been no all along, because if cowardice comes from not loving, then the answer is simply not loving.

I saw and I loved. I loved wholly, though flawed, but wholly. I know it is for three years. I loved enough to brave the storms, to push death out of my mind, I loved enough to disregard all flaws, and I love that about myself.

That was a question I had asked him for a long time and both of us couldn’t figure it out. Maybe it’s a question not targeted at him but targeted at myself. I needed a conclusion, the concept of either loving or not loving, when in actual fact, the greatest, most perfect love of all, from God, is enough to push death out of my own mind.

I’d like to think my love for him could possibly push his fears out, however regrettably, if only he believed in the power of love.

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AN OBSESSION WITH THE PAST 

Funnily enough, this week’s lecture in my University talked about the topic of retro culture as well! This ties in nicely with the idea in the film where characters obsess over the past and, as a result, travels through time. My lecturer says, every generation seems to admire the previous, which is exactly the same insight this film is giving. For example, millennials of today would admire the 50s or 60s; many people agree that era exactly was the golden age of art and literature. The 50s kids would then admire the 20s, and the people of the 20s era would think that the Renaissance Age is the Golden age. Perhaps why we’re constantly obsessing over the nostalgic past is because we just want to escape from our every day (unsatisfactory) lives, and the thought that we would be happier elsewhere….well, do you think that’s what’s happening to me? The fact that wished I lived in a different era.

It is said that ‘people prone to historical nostalgia tend to have a more negative view of their own past and find less satisfaction in their relationships.’

*Personal nostalgia: the past that you experienced
**Historical nostalgia: the past you never lived in, like for eg. a different era

Personal nostalgia helps people maintain a constant sense of identity through changes and traumatic experiences. It’s good. However, could it be that historical nostalgia is just escaping to the past to cope with the present? The denial of the painful present—where the dissatisfaction is great enough that someone actually prefers an era or time period from the past…

I think maybe for me, that might be true. My past hadn’t been particularly nice. Using this term loosely, I do not look forward to returning home to my past life in Singapore, for example, and my relationships with my mum and dad, and friends haven’t been exactly tip-top either. It isn’t bad either hahaha. I do admit nobody really understands me, I’m always by myself, even though I laugh and socialize pretty well. “Midnight in Paris” ultimately makes the case for choosing present-day reality over nostalgic escapism, and builds a case showing the harm in over-indulging in nostalgia.

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Not to mention my baby Tom Hiddleston is inside- as F Scott Fitzgerald. Although the scenes he appeared in are very little, funnily, coz I didn’t choose to watch this movie because of him. But he’s so dashing as usual, and this is the first time I see him light a cig!

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I am probably taking a trip again soon. Maybe, just maybe, this time, I will ditch my camera, and write my way through.

Marvel

Here’s my favorite quote from Captain America:

“A strong man who has known power all his life lose respect for that power, but a weak man knows the value of strength, and knows compassion.”

And Spiderman Homecoming:

Peter Parker: I’m nothing without the suit.
Tony Stark: The more you shouldn’t have it.

How true. The things we hold onto most tightly are the exact things we should let go. Because if not, it becomes an unhealthy idol, the more we can’t live without it, the more danger we put ourselves to, let ourselves and our worth be defined by it.

I realize I can learn so much from Marvel. Thor used to think he’s nothing without his hammer. The more he shouldn’t have it, because it actually hurts him. After it has been taken away from him, how much true potential within him was uncovered?

And Doctor Strange:

Ancient One: Arrogance and fear still keep you from learning the simplest and most significant lesson of all.
Strange: Which is?
Ancient One: It is not about you.

but really at heart, Doctor Strange is about losing one of the things that define you (in this case, his work) and this sense of salvation when you embark on a journey to rediscover yourself.

Forget self-pity and panic and pride. What will be your mission now?

Something that I always ask myself whenever I fall.

Poetry in Motion

Want to take this time to blog about the two films I’ve seen while on the plane—Call Me By Your Name and The Greatest Showman. One is a musical, the other is almost poetry in motion…but both had awesome soundtracks. They left me stunned, my hours on the plane wasn’t wasted at all, in fact, it was spent in ultimate bliss in appreciation of good films.

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“The noblest art is that of making others happy.”
—The Greatest Showman, PT Barnum

This was my favourite scene out of the whole movie: the dancing on the rooftop scene. I particularly liked the development of the story between Charity and Barnum, because their whole love story was told. From their childhood times to falling in love, building a family, then building a career. It doesn’t just tell a very cheesy cliche love story, it shows the very practical side of family life and the most common hardships and issues that affect marriages: financial status. I love how the story also focuses on marriage as Barnum struggles to build a career for himself. I am always a firm believer that a silent, supporting woman behind a man’s back can make a huge difference when it comes to his career.

My favourite song is Tightrope because of that. I truly relate to how Charity feels, and I think in many ways, Charity and I are very alike. Both of us don’t mind following a man with humble beginnings; I don’t think I need a man that’s already successful. But sadly, many men think that they have to be successful before they have the right to marry. Barnum wasn’t born with a silver spoon, hence always felt the need to prove himself. It started off masked as an excuse that he wanted to provide a better life for his kids and family, but it shows that the heart is deceitful and he is still not satisfied, that he just wants the show to be successful internationally so he can prove himself to the world and to Charity’s parents. I know because having been through a somewhat similar experience, knew someone who gave up on something potentially beautiful simply because he let ambition overtake his loved ones. I never blamed him, but just wished I had the chance to tell him what Charity said to Barnum.

Barnum: “I wanted to be more than I was.”
Charity: “I never wanted anything than the man I fell in love with.” 

Some people long for a life that is simple and planned. Some people long for safety, control, hate uncertainty. I never minded walking the tightrope with my loved ones, as long as I’m with them. Charity risked everything just to be with him, and eventually, Barnum learns that that most important thing is friendship, love, and work that he adores. It is not profit, money, or fame or power or getting invited to parties. I think this is a very important aspect of work that we have to keep in mind, especially people like us in the creative business. We don’t have a corporate ladder to climb, but we do have lots of content creation and putting our content we need a certain fame in order to be a successful artist, musician, painter, designer, whatever.

This gave me another reason to like the musical: it shows me very meaningful insights into start-up businesses. For a start, I was so inspired. He started and created a show from scratch. One of his greatest strengths is being able to persuade others – usually those high profile names – to work and collaborate with him. He gets that in on his idea and sells it well. The circus troupe, opera singer, Phillip…He demonstrated a vision that drew them in. He led them to believe in the same vision he had. The first step is to identify your vision and be very clear on what you want. He also sees others strengths clearly and how it would help his career. Then he acts on it accordingly, asking them to help him out.

Home Again reminds me of the two sides of me: the side of me when I’m on the road livin a gypsy-like, carefree life, and the other side when I’m home again: the family and hometown that has always kept me grounded. I guess, for now, I’m on the former.

CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

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“Is it better to speak or to die?”

The most beautiful moment, I find, on CMBYN would be the scene where Elio’s mum tells him a story, where a handsome young knight is in love with a princess. He was so humbled and speechless by his desire that he’s unable to bring up the subject of love. I knew someone who kept quiet about love for a few years. It wasn’t easy, but sometimes the most beautiful of feelings we don’t talk about. CMBYN’s sex scene was absolutely beautiful. I love how Oliver was very quiet about this whole thing, especially his feelings, that Elio didn’t even know he left hints. The part where Elio questioned him “When?? When did you leave hints?” was so cute. I feel like Elio, always the one who gets busted first.

Also, can I just say the place where they filmed was so pretty! The scenery is so nice in Northern Italy. I also love the motif of books in the film. Both of them read a lot. I don’t know why but because of that I am so determined to find a reading spot in my university, in this beautiful European summer, and sit down by the lake or something with a good book. A reading spot where I can retreat to read on stressful days.

“I like reading too, but I don’t tell anyone. I think people who read are kind of secretive. They hide who they really are.

I love Elio’s family life. His parents are so so supportive. My family has always brought out the worst version of me (in my opinion, even though my worst version isn’t that worse haha) but I feel slightly more frustrated when I’m with them. Not because I don’t love them, but that’s just the dynamics of it I guess. I have to start praying about this now hahahah. I need someone who brings out the best in me, and since family is the most important basis of all relationships, I think home is not a place for negative energy at all. My parents are amazing, awesome people, and I love them, and they’ve worked incredibly hard to provide for me. However, I also realise it is this time that I am away from home for the longest that I am also being the best version of myself. I have matured in ways I did not expect, and sometimes, I forget that side of the old me even existed.

Anyway, I realise I also desperately needed soundtracks for CMBYN and The Greatest Showman. Quick.